I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
no you cant smoke seaweed
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
