I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
