i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The uberlube is also flammable
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
