The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
