Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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