whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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