Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
