question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
