no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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