Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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