you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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