i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
