This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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