I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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