We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
