He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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