Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just tell him i said nine months
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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