The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
