but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
