After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
