He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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