Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
