If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
