Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i think i have herpe
just one?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
