I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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