i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Randomize
