"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
