I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize