Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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