The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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