whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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