I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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