Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
