Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
