What a fucking waste of an outfit
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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