he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
