How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
