You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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