Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
