There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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