I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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