she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
