I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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