How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
