Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
