lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
