in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
