Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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