he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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