Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
