we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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