I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
