the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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