pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
