sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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