What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
