yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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